What Is a Rehearsal Dinner? A Simple Guide For Engaged Couples
This guide breaks down what a rehearsal dinner is, the schedule of events, etiquette, guest list, and who normally pays, so that you can plan with confidence.
What Is a Rehearsal Dinner?
A rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event held the night before the wedding, also called a groom’s dinner, typically held after the wedding ceremony rehearsal. It’s a time for the wedding party and close family to gather, relax, and celebrate before the big day.
Who Attends the Rehearsal Dinner?
The rehearsal dinner guest list usually includes:
- The couple
- Immediate family from both sides
- Wedding party members (plus their dates)
- Officiant
- The photographer (you will want pictures of this event as well)
- If you have live music for the ceremony, have them at the rehearsal and invite them to the dinner.
- Out-of-town guests (if space and budget allow)
Keep it small and intentional—this is about spending time with those closest to you before the wedding.
Typical Rehearsal Dinner Schedule
Not sure what happens at a rehearsal dinner? Here’s a general timeline of typical events:
1. The Wedding Rehearsal. Usually at the Ceremony Site. (I will dive deeper into this topic in another blog post)
- Time: 1 to 2 hours before dinner
- Attendees: Wedding party, officiant, immediate family, photographer, music/sound
- Purpose: Walk through the ceremony processional, timing, music, and cues. Make sure everyone knows what to do for the actual wedding. Run through it twice to make sure.
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2. The Rehearsal Dinner
- Location: Restaurant, banquet facility, backyard, private room, or casual event space
- Format: Sit-down dinner, buffet, or even a backyard BBQ, anything goes!
3. Welcome Remarks, Thank You
- Typically given by the host (traditionally the groom’s parents)
- Brief welcome and thank you message to guests
Toast from the Host (Traditionally the Groom’s Parents)
Sample Speech
“Thank you all for being here tonight. We are thrilled to welcome [Bride’s Name] into our family and couldn’t be happier to celebrate this wonderful couple. Tomorrow marks the start of their new life together, and we’re honored to stand beside them as they begin their journey.”
“When we first met [Bride’s Name], we knew she was someone special. We’ve watched their relationship grow with admiration and pride. We’re excited to raise a glass to love, family, and the future.”
4. Dinner Is Served
- This is your chance to relax and connect with loved ones before the big day
5. Toasts & Speeches
- Informal and optional, but often include:
- Groom’s parents (if hosting)
- The couple
- “We’re so grateful you’re all here tonight — our people, our support system. Tomorrow is the big day but tonight is just for us and the people who got us here. Thank you for loving us through every season.”
- “They say it takes a village — and looking around this room, we know we’ve got the best one. Thank you for every encouraging word, every hug, and every moment leading up to this day.”
- Best Man/Maid of Honor
- “I’ve known [Groom’s/Bride’s Name] for years, and I can tell you this: when they love, they love with their whole heart. Watching them with [Bride’s/Groom’s Name] has been the best reminder that love finds you when you’re ready—and it changes everything.”
- “To the couple that made us all believe in true partnership. May your marriage be full of adventure, laughter, and quiet evenings where the Wi-Fi always works.”
- Anyone else who wants to share a heartfelt story
- Sometimes, couples like to go around the room and have each person tell everyone how they know the happy couple or share a story about them as a couple.
6. Gift-Giving
- Many couples give gifts to their wedding party or parents during this time.
7. Final Announcements
- Share last-minute details for the wedding day, timing, transportation, or other reminders.
- The rehearsal dinner normally lasts 2-3 hours.
What to Expect: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette
Understanding rehearsal dinner etiquette helps things run smoothly:
- Dress code: Typically, cocktail or semi-formal, unless otherwise stated
- Invitations: Sent 4–6 weeks in advance, or included in your wedding invitation suite
- Seating: Assigned seating is optional but helpful for larger groups
- Timing: Usually 6–9 p.m., depending on the wedding rehearsal
Who Pays for the Rehearsal Dinner?
Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. However, modern couples are splitting costs, paying themselves, or working with both families. It’s completely acceptable to do what works best for your situation. Be clear and communicate early to avoid confusion.
Modern Alternatives
Couples are making the rehearsal dinner their own by choosing:
- Rehearsal brunch instead of dinner
- Welcome parties that combine rehearsal guests and other wedding attendees
- Themed dinners with cultural or regional flair
- Casual gatherings at breweries, food trucks, or family homes
There’s no one-size-fits-all. Make it personal, meaningful, and stress-free.
Final Thoughts:
The rehearsal dinner is about more than just food; it’s your chance to bring the most important people together before the whirlwind of the wedding day. Whether formal or casual, what matters most is that your guests feel appreciated, included, and excited for the celebration ahead.
Keep in mind the next day is a big one. Have fun and relax, but make it an early night and get plenty of sleep.
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